Happy Tuesday everyone.
Now, you know how I often read books, and it’s like the words leap off the page, and I see myself in the book, and by taking out one simple word and substituting my name, I am able to make the sentence I read describe me perfectly?
Okay, Now that we’re on the same page, here’s the deal:
That happened again.
Except this time I didn’t even need to put my own name in…because it was already there. The sentence I read was about a character named Anna…all I had to do was take out the last name…and there you go…there I was.
The book was War and Peace, the quote was this:
“Anna…was…brimming over with excitement and impulsiveness. To be enthusiastic had become her pose in society, and at times even when she had, indeed, no inclination to be so, she was enthusiastic so as not to disappoint the expectations of those who knew her.” (Tolstoy, 2)
Ouch, Tolstoy, that’s hitting a little close to home.
I played this character.
The part of Anna has been played by Anna.
And I could go into a detailed explaintation as to why I did this, when I did this, and how I stopped. Then there could be the inner-debate of if I stopped and when I stopped and the outer debate of if people knew I did this or if people noticed I stopped. But I think I will save myself that experience. At least for today. That may be a topic for Thursday, or that may be a topic for me myself and I.
For now, let’s just all take a minute to really mull over this idea of performing for people. I’m going to write the quote again, and this time, really think about it. to help you, I’m going to put it in first person, and I’m going to leave some blanks which you can fill in with whatever fits you. Don’t try to fill it in, let your mind do it on it’s own, you may be surprised at yourself:
“To be [ ] had become my pose in society, and at times even when I had, indeed, no inclination to be so, I was [ ] so as not to disappoint the expectations of those who knew me.” (Tolstoy, 2)
Do you do ever this?